Yahoo Poll Question – Is it wrong for Miley Cyrus to flaunt her sexuality?

Hope you don’t think there is a theme here with breast milk production and Miley’s on stage antics!

The purpose of this blog post is not to comment on Miley’s lifestyle or handlers. It is to link personal conduct with emotional wellness.

Years ago a sidewalk pollster asked me what I thought of women showing their breasts in public. I wish I would have answered come back and ask if you see any! The point being that generally speaking people are private with such matters.

Driven sexuality which might express itself as exhibitionism, affairs, excessive masturbation, fetishes, voyeurism and the like, can have its roots in emotional issues. Sexuality is a very strong force and various emotional issues can be attached to it. The primary ones being anxiety and unmet need. Both of these conditions can be the underlying cause of numerous behaviours.

Behaviors associated with anxiety include:
nervousness
excessive masturbating,
paranoia’s,
phobias,
addictions,
obsessions,
excessive need for sex and promiscuity.

2 Causes of anxiety may include –
limited, overtly fearful experiences like a car accident; Also, the effect of living in an unsafe home where our needs are not met on an ongoing basis.

5 Sources of anxiety in childhood include –
1) babies suffer anxiety when their needs are not met;
2) when a child’s anxieties and fears are not heard, the child is left alone with them;
3) many parents intentionally use fear as a means to control their children;
4) When we as children are required to take responsibility beyond our years we become candidates for anxiety;
5) We suffer our own anxiety when our parents are anxious.

IF YOU CAN RELATE TO ANY OF THESE BEHAVIOURS OR KNOW ANY OF THESE CAUSES HAVE BEEN PART OF YOUR LIFE, SOME EMOTIONAL WELLNESS EDUCATION AND IMPLEMENTING SOME DISCIPLINES WOULD DEFINITELY BE HELPFUL. Life can be lived to the full and we are responsible for our stuff.

Unmet need may also be a factor in excessive shows of sexuality. Bearing in mind that unmet childhood need equals unconscious adult pain.
Behaviors associated with unmet need include:
– identifying with TV, sports and entertainment personalities is a need substitute. They keep us from our real selves;
– need for approval;
– being self centered;
– excessive food, alcohol or work;
– sexual deviations including rape, incest, molestation, voyeurism, exhibitionism and sexual exploitation;
– excessive material goods;
– affairs and sexual fetishes;

4 Types of unmet needs include, but the list is not limited to: 1. abuse (lack of love); 2. deprivation; 3. parents not being honest about their inability to provide certain wants and/or needs; 4. children not being supported when they feel disappointment, and other upsetting feelings.

5 Effects of having unmet needs include
1. when children are shamed for having needs, they may fantasize and masturbate to alleviate the pain of unmet need, or, in a marriage relationship be demanding sex;
2.Unmet need keeps us asking ourselves what we should do instead of what we really need or want to do;
3. if we keep acting out the “poor me” and remain unaware that the strength of the feeling is coming from the past, we will keep stuck in feeling sorry for ourselves and unable to know and fulfill our genuine present needs.

AGAIN, IF YOU SEE ANY OF THESE BEHAVIOURS OR EFFECTS IN YOUR OWN LIFE, PLEASE CONSIDER GETTING AN EMOTIONAL EDUCATION. Then taking some informed action to help with your life.

Feeling daunted by the prospect? My two novels are a great way to ease yourself into this study. They are available through this website. Or get a copy of Janice Berger’s Emotional Fitness book for a thorough, in depth study.

From your caring friend, Tim

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