Prickly Predicament – Pickled Thistle Flowers!

Eating thistle flowers sounds like a job for giraffes or some other tough tongued critters.
During the cold days of winter I enjoy eating these chewing treats – the flavor, to me, is wonderful.
The flowers should be harvested when most are still not blown, that is, most are still buds. You will find many are infested with spiders, aphids, spit bugs and a host of other insects. But don’t despair. There are many which are clean – those are for you, the others are for the bugs.
Put on a pair of thick gloves. I used a thick leather glove. Just pull off the bud clusters that you want. The point here is do not try to harvest the flower buds one at a time – too time consuming – and the small stems are okay to eat. Want fiber in your diet? You’ve got it.
I put all the buds and bud clusters into a plastic sieve with big holes and give a bang on the wall outside – so any spiders fall out. Spiders curl up into a ball when startled so this allows them to escape.
Next, wash with running water under the tap. Put in a pan. Add vinegar (I use apple cider vinegar), water, sugar, your favorite spices and seasonings and bring to a boil, allow to simmer a few minutes to soften the thistle buds and put into sterilized jars for your winter pleasure – in my humble opinion!
Some of my experiments have ended up in the compost heap but I have also discovered some pretty good wild treats! Either way the price is right.

Next time we will explore mother natures free greens – wild lettuce. Yum, yum.

Tim

Do people need options? Read on…

Follow this link and decide for yourself!!

http://www.monitor.co.ug/News/National/Health-ministry-apologises-mishaps-Global-Fund/-/688334/3129562/-/njonbi/-/index.html

Kind regards, Tim

Maternal and Child Health

This weekends meeting on maternal and child health concluded that women need access to birth control. Not forced but family planning. This is a noteworthy recommendation.
All such suggestions come with the assumption that people can afford such interventions – as provided by the “western” medical establishment.
Unfortunately, most cannot. Money does not largely exist to research low or no cost plant based methods of, in this case, birth control.
In Indonesia, many women eat green papaya fruits for birth control. These fruits contain progesterone blocking substances. The quantity of such phtyo-substances varies from fruit to fruit and region to region. So putting a neat recommendation of dosage on such remedies is difficult. Suffice to say that eating papaya products in general is very safe.
Perhaps this is an area where significant resources should be placed if there is real interest in maternal health – rather than profits.
The internet is flooded with papaya based studies on a variety of topics, so feast yourself!!
Kind Regards, Tim

La Loche – Preventable??

Powerlessness and Anger – the dynamite duo

It is with great sadness that we hear the news from La Loche, Saskatchewan. The tragic loss of life and a life so scarred by inappropriate expression of pent up emotions.
One new report indicated that this young man had been bullied at school and that he had spared those who had been nice to him. But why his teacher, who by all accounts was a very nice person?
Please know that the ideas presented here are not the result of investigative research but rather general principles dealing with emotional issues. Everyone’s story is unique, while the emotional results may fall into categories. The way people express themselves varies widely.
Anger is an emotion that many people experience. In many cases with justification. There are events in our lives which make us angry; those events may be large, small, real or exaggerated. The principle of blame and responsibility comes into play here. We can blame whomever we feel has wronged us, and act out of that. Or we can accept that wrong was done (which would, in many cases, be accurate) and take responsibility for feeling through our anger so we do not act out of it.
4 Causes of anger include 1. Anger can be a way to cover irrational guilt, which is guilt which we take on when we try to take responsibility for events that we have no control over. An example would be a failed parental relationship; 2. The inability to appropriately express or discharge anger as children leads to anger as adults; 3. learning at a young age that expressing anger was unacceptable to others and we may suffer punishment, rejection or the withdrawal of affection or approval if we express anger; and 4. children are not equipped to explain, defend, justify or document their feelings. When we ask them to do so, their right to their anger is diminished.
We do not know which of these events was part of that gentleman’s young life, but we can be sure some were.
Powerlessness may be an underlying emotion in the taking of life. Powerlessness is an ingredient in bullying and being a victim. As you can see by the list of causes, it is difficult to escape childhood without being affected – which may explain the prevalence of bullying in many life stations.
Following are 25 Causes of feelings of powerlessness – 1. to have not experienced appropriate power, control and responsibility as a child; 2. when, as children, we are not respected as full human beings and our needs are not met; 3. physical, emotional and sexual abuse cause powerlessness, even witnessing these is emotionally abusive as it is an invasion of boundaries; 4. expecting perfection; 5. controlling everything a child does including thinking and believing; 6. verbal put downs, screaming, attacking and criticizing; 7. expecting our child to look after us emotionally; 8. indifference to our child’s well being; 9. discouraging independence; 10. demanding loyalty, appreciation and gratitude; 11. expecting our children to be responsible for things we are responsible for; 12. undermining; 13. threatening; 14.trivializing; 15. patronizing; 16. withholding; 17. using scare tactics; 18. denying our child’s feelings; 19. abusing things our child values, such as pets or possessions; 20. isolating our child; 21. harassing; 22. not protecting our child from those who harm them; 23. teasing; 24. scapegoating and 25. using punishment to control.
Two Effects of being exposed to the causes include: 1. use of situational power to abuse, that is intimidate and dominate other people, which we commonly call bullying. People who do this have a poor sense of personal power; 2. children who feel powerless will struggle with adult relationships, either needing to feel power as a defense against old feelings of powerlessness and be dominating and controlling, or will feel like a victim and try to get the abuse to stop and get the love they are missing.
As you can plainly see, there is great possibility that these played a part in the La Loche tragedy.
The potential benefits of people accessing this information include the potential of being more empathetic when others act out by bullying. Also, the possibility exists of being able to speak intelligently into another persons life and/or heart to bring about positive change.
Please consult other posts for more information on feeling through.
The ideas shared here are credited to Janice Berger. They are recorded in her excellent book, Emotional Fitness, discovering our natural healing power. ISBN 0-13-018182-X.

Kind regards, Tim

Drinking and New Years – The Truth Revealed

In her book, Emotional Fitness, Janice Berger categorizes human emotions into 10 general doors to go through – need, worthlessness, shame, guilt, anxiety – fear – panic, anger, powerlessness, hurt – regret – grief, loneliness and numbness – deadness – flatness.

Drinking excessive amounts of alcohol has its genesis in two of these categories, hurt – regret – grief and numbness – deadness – flatness.

First, I am not opposed to the social or medicinal drink. Alcohol aids digestion and has positive health benefits when used in moderation. In the bible, Paul recommended Timothy use a bit of alcohol to help his stomach. Sound advice.

When used to assuage hurt or to make ourselves feel, we are using a crutch rather than dealing with the underlying issue, our damaged emotional state.

Deadness and flatness is acquired in adulthood through the childhood coping mechanism of pushing down our feelings. Children do this to protect themselves from real feelings which are too difficult to deal with. Also, when expressing feelings is unacceptable we learn to repress them. People who are abused at home may suffer worse treatment if they told their parents how they really feel!! Lack of knowledge about this coping mechanism and the fact that there is a way out, leads people to carry the behaviour, ie keeping feelings bottled up inside, into their adult lives. Depression is in fact caused by the depressing of our feelings!!

So where does alcohol come into play? Alcohol loosens our inhibitions and allows us to have a normal range of emotions. Which route to a healthy emotional life seems best to you? 1. Dealing with the underlying causes through understanding our emotional makeup and doing emotional work, or 2. drinking our way to health problems or worse?

The second cause of excess alcohol consumption may be to assuage hurt. Being hurt is an inevitable part of life. Others may hurt us in order to get something they want, while it all the while feels like something they did against us. We all suffer disappointment and lose, be it in relationships, work, recreational pursuits or health matters. Learning how to feel through so that these loses do not build up inside is a great skill to acquire.

The ability to finish with feeling by feeling through is based on the premise that all feelings can be reduced to a manageable level by allowing ourselves to feel them until they are complete. Parents may learn let a frightened child cry until the feelings are finished, this is a skill.

As adults, we need to learn the skill of feeling through so that we do not deal with our held emotions in destructive manners – like excessive alcohol consumption which can lead to cirrhosis of the liver or a car accident, hurting ourselves and others.

Happy New Year. Kind Regards, Tim

Another Shooting??

Emotions and the News – Another Shooting???

Psychologist Janice Berger has broken down emotions into 10 predominant categories – need, worthlessness, shame, guilt, anxiety – fear – panic, anger, powerlessness, hurt – regret – grief, loneliness and numbness – deadness – flatness. There is much overlap in terms of the way these emotions exhibit themselves in behavioural patterns; please keep this in mind regarding the observations and conclusions made here.

Guns don’t kill, people do

Why another shooting? Power, hurt or anger may be the underlying issue.
Powerlessness is acquired by – 1. Anger can be a way to cover irrational guilt, which is guilt which we take on when we try to take responsibility for events that we have no control over. An example would be a failed parental relationship; 2. The inability to appropriately express or discharge anger as children leads to anger as adults; 3. learning at a young age that expressing anger was unacceptable to others and we may suffer punishment, rejection or the withdrawal of affection or approval if we express anger; and 4. children are not equipped to explain, defend, justify or document their feelings. When we ask them to do so, their right to their anger is diminished.

Clearly, there are many opportunities to harbour anger within. This anger may exhibit itself in many ways – outbursts, group activities such as mob violence even when the cause is socially acceptable, sexual violence, bullying against people or pets, shootings!! Make the connection between so many news stories and these ways that anger exhibits itself.

So how do we reduce or eliminate these negative outcomes? According to Janice Berger, we have a built in healing mechanism. Our flesh heals itself with little or no intervention on our parts. Our emotions, read mental health, requires our cooperation – recognizing that blame and responsibility are two sides of the same coin. Understanding the mechanisms and framework in which we operate personally in the emotional realm.

You can get more input by taking a look at my Emotional House, which is a free download from my website. Or for a minimal fee take a look at the Emotional Guide. I care about you and the way our world looks!!

In summary, you have the ability to link your current emotional issue with past events, then feel through what you experienced in the past. This feeling through deflates the balloon of held emotion which drives your disconnected behaviours – the violence (in this discussion) that wrecks relationships or your own life.

As a Christian, recognizing that real power lies in the hands of God also puts my humanity into perspective. That is an area of life you may chose to explore.

Wishing you a happy, healthy and fulfilling 2015. Tim

Hacked email account

Hey, thanks to all my faithful followers who recently contacted me when my yahoo email account was hacked. As of the writing of this email it seems they still have control of my timwisetimothy@yahoo.ca account. The other day I got into it and the contact list was gone also.

If you receive email from this account which seems suspicious, please forward it to info@antifraudcentre.ca and use File # 804087 in the subject line.

I will NEVER be asking for money online. PERIOD.

I was told they gained access when I clicked on the button in an email which said that they were looking to confirm my account information. That is the phishing email. So be careful!!

They also created an account called timwistimothy@yahoo.ca – NO “E” in wise. If you get something from this account, please forward it to the same fraud email address and file number.

Thanks and stay vigilant.

Yahoo Poll Question – Is it wrong for Miley Cyrus to flaunt her sexuality?

Hope you don’t think there is a theme here with breast milk production and Miley’s on stage antics!

The purpose of this blog post is not to comment on Miley’s lifestyle or handlers. It is to link personal conduct with emotional wellness.

Years ago a sidewalk pollster asked me what I thought of women showing their breasts in public. I wish I would have answered come back and ask if you see any! The point being that generally speaking people are private with such matters.

Driven sexuality which might express itself as exhibitionism, affairs, excessive masturbation, fetishes, voyeurism and the like, can have its roots in emotional issues. Sexuality is a very strong force and various emotional issues can be attached to it. The primary ones being anxiety and unmet need. Both of these conditions can be the underlying cause of numerous behaviours.

Behaviors associated with anxiety include:
nervousness
excessive masturbating,
paranoia’s,
phobias,
addictions,
obsessions,
excessive need for sex and promiscuity.

2 Causes of anxiety may include –
limited, overtly fearful experiences like a car accident; Also, the effect of living in an unsafe home where our needs are not met on an ongoing basis.

5 Sources of anxiety in childhood include –
1) babies suffer anxiety when their needs are not met;
2) when a child’s anxieties and fears are not heard, the child is left alone with them;
3) many parents intentionally use fear as a means to control their children;
4) When we as children are required to take responsibility beyond our years we become candidates for anxiety;
5) We suffer our own anxiety when our parents are anxious.

IF YOU CAN RELATE TO ANY OF THESE BEHAVIOURS OR KNOW ANY OF THESE CAUSES HAVE BEEN PART OF YOUR LIFE, SOME EMOTIONAL WELLNESS EDUCATION AND IMPLEMENTING SOME DISCIPLINES WOULD DEFINITELY BE HELPFUL. Life can be lived to the full and we are responsible for our stuff.

Unmet need may also be a factor in excessive shows of sexuality. Bearing in mind that unmet childhood need equals unconscious adult pain.
Behaviors associated with unmet need include:
– identifying with TV, sports and entertainment personalities is a need substitute. They keep us from our real selves;
– need for approval;
– being self centered;
– excessive food, alcohol or work;
– sexual deviations including rape, incest, molestation, voyeurism, exhibitionism and sexual exploitation;
– excessive material goods;
– affairs and sexual fetishes;

4 Types of unmet needs include, but the list is not limited to: 1. abuse (lack of love); 2. deprivation; 3. parents not being honest about their inability to provide certain wants and/or needs; 4. children not being supported when they feel disappointment, and other upsetting feelings.

5 Effects of having unmet needs include
1. when children are shamed for having needs, they may fantasize and masturbate to alleviate the pain of unmet need, or, in a marriage relationship be demanding sex;
2.Unmet need keeps us asking ourselves what we should do instead of what we really need or want to do;
3. if we keep acting out the “poor me” and remain unaware that the strength of the feeling is coming from the past, we will keep stuck in feeling sorry for ourselves and unable to know and fulfill our genuine present needs.

AGAIN, IF YOU SEE ANY OF THESE BEHAVIOURS OR EFFECTS IN YOUR OWN LIFE, PLEASE CONSIDER GETTING AN EMOTIONAL EDUCATION. Then taking some informed action to help with your life.

Feeling daunted by the prospect? My two novels are a great way to ease yourself into this study. They are available through this website. Or get a copy of Janice Berger’s Emotional Fitness book for a thorough, in depth study.

From your caring friend, Tim

Emotions and the News – Letter to Newcastle Woman

Feelings of worthlessness may be at the root of the disturbing letter received by the grandmother of an autistic boy. This article is not the result of in depth investigation but seeks to communicate principles which apply in many peoples lives.
What would have caused this display of feelings of worthlessness ie writing a letter saying someone else’s life was not worth living? The following are 12 causes of feelings of worthlessness. 1. humiliating circumstances; 2. children cannot afford to see their parents as inadequate or uncaring, instead they see themselves as inadequate and feel worthless; 3. not being heard when we express our needs as children; 4. feelings of worthlessness are perpetuated in adulthood because we have internalized negative messages from parents and others; 5. not being heard makes a child feel unworthy; 6. oppressed by negative judgments; 7. threats of punishment, physical or emotional; 8. our sense of self worth is undermined by parental rigidity; 9. feeling worthless is used to protect ourselves from overwhelming feelings of vulnerability; 10. feeling that things are their fault, which makes them feel worthless, gives children a sense of control where they actually have no control; 11. not being wanted which is exhibited by parents who complain about having too many children; and 12 inherited from or modeled by parents. If one or more of these applied to the letter writer, they may suffer from feelings of worthlessness.
We do not know about the past of the letter writer, but suffice to say that one or several of these causes may have been present in their life.
The good news is that anyone who suffers from this, can get through it. This choice of words is very deliberate as there is no way “around”, we must go through. This happens when 1. we recognize that current driven behaviours are an attempt to fix past damage in the present; 2. recognize it can lead to depression; 3. with children, they can be helped enormously by consistent, genuine, one-on-one time with their parents.
Two ways to move beyond include: 1. we need to connect with our underlying feelings of worthlessness, feel them and integrate them; 2. feeling the truth about what happened to us frees us to feel our self worth
The positive results of doing this work include a solid sense of self worth that does not need to be worked at, it simply, quietly exists
It is important to note that advertising fuels the notion that we are inadequate as we are. Recognizing this helps us be less subject to the driven behaviour of over spending.
To get more information on this subject, I have two novels available from my website. Also, Janice Berger’s book Emotional Fitness is very helpful.
I hope these resources help you move toward healing and a healthy life and lifestyle.
Following is a link to a news article on the letter – http://www.canada.com/Ontario+woman+receives+hateful+letter+about+autistic/8807558/story.html

Emotions and the News – Sammy Yatim

It is with deepest sympathy to the family of Mr Yatim that I preclude this blog.

It is my sincere hope that this blog may help some other teen or individual who considers such actions. Perhaps the police could benefit from a deeper understanding of the underlying issues that drive power behaviours like wielding a knife on public transit or shooting someone.

This blog is not an investigative report on Mr Yatim’s family but a general discussion about how power issues are arrived at and overcome. Many behaviours are related to power issues, including bullying, so this issue is quite common. I believe that as you gain an understanding of the causes you may wonder why it is not more common!

Feelings of powerlessness exhibit themselves as power over behaviours like bullying and using power over tactics. It can also be taking a “lower than” position or allowing oneself to be victimized.

There are 25 causes of feelings of powerlessness. 1. to have not experienced appropriate power, control and responsibility as a child; 2. when, as children, we are not respected as full human beings and our needs are not met; 3. physical, emotional and sexual abuse cause powerlessness, even witnessing these is emotionally abusive as it is an invasion of boundaries; 4. expecting perfection; 5. controlling everything a child does including thinking and believing; 6. verbal put downs, screaming, attacking and criticizing; 7. expecting our child to look after us emotionally; 8. indifference to our child’s well being; 9. discouraging independence; 10. demanding loyalty, appreciation and gratitude; 11. expecting our children to be responsible for things we are responsible for; 12. undermining; 13. threatening; 14.trivializing; 15. patronizing; 16. withholding; 17. using scare tactics; 18. denying our child’s feelings; 19. abusing things our child values, such as pets or possessions; 20. isolating our child; 21. harassing; 22. not protecting our child from those who harm them; 23. teasing; 24. scapegoating and 25 using punishment to control.
These are not explored in detail here but you can see the horrible frequency with which such events happen in the lives of so many people. Bearing in mind that the event may be large, small, real or imagined and still give a person feelings of powerlessness.

Adults who have a need to use power over tactics do so as a defense against old feelings of powerlessness. This would include ordering people off a bus at knife point or shooting someone. Adults may feel like a victim in order to get the abuse to stop and get the love they are missing. An example would be people who stay in abusive relationships.

In order to deal with this prevalent issue we need to recognize that we have a choice in our course of action. Then we need to take responsibility for that.

Getting beyond the feelings at a deeper level, involves connecting our current feelings with past events. Then feeling through our powerlessness to its source. Feeling through is a skill which needs further exploration. You can do this by reading one of my two novels, The Stylist or The Delivery Boy, available as e-books through my website. Janice Berger’s book Emotional Fitness is a much more in depth read on emotions for those looking for deeper understanding.

Improving your understanding may allow you to effectively speak into someones situation. Potentially diffusing a lethal occurrence. Together we can build a better society and world.

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