Another Shooting??

Emotions and the News – Another Shooting???

Psychologist Janice Berger has broken down emotions into 10 predominant categories – need, worthlessness, shame, guilt, anxiety – fear – panic, anger, powerlessness, hurt – regret – grief, loneliness and numbness – deadness – flatness. There is much overlap in terms of the way these emotions exhibit themselves in behavioural patterns; please keep this in mind regarding the observations and conclusions made here.

Guns don’t kill, people do

Why another shooting? Power, hurt or anger may be the underlying issue.
Powerlessness is acquired by – 1. Anger can be a way to cover irrational guilt, which is guilt which we take on when we try to take responsibility for events that we have no control over. An example would be a failed parental relationship; 2. The inability to appropriately express or discharge anger as children leads to anger as adults; 3. learning at a young age that expressing anger was unacceptable to others and we may suffer punishment, rejection or the withdrawal of affection or approval if we express anger; and 4. children are not equipped to explain, defend, justify or document their feelings. When we ask them to do so, their right to their anger is diminished.

Clearly, there are many opportunities to harbour anger within. This anger may exhibit itself in many ways – outbursts, group activities such as mob violence even when the cause is socially acceptable, sexual violence, bullying against people or pets, shootings!! Make the connection between so many news stories and these ways that anger exhibits itself.

So how do we reduce or eliminate these negative outcomes? According to Janice Berger, we have a built in healing mechanism. Our flesh heals itself with little or no intervention on our parts. Our emotions, read mental health, requires our cooperation – recognizing that blame and responsibility are two sides of the same coin. Understanding the mechanisms and framework in which we operate personally in the emotional realm.

You can get more input by taking a look at my Emotional House, which is a free download from my website. Or for a minimal fee take a look at the Emotional Guide. I care about you and the way our world looks!!

In summary, you have the ability to link your current emotional issue with past events, then feel through what you experienced in the past. This feeling through deflates the balloon of held emotion which drives your disconnected behaviours – the violence (in this discussion) that wrecks relationships or your own life.

As a Christian, recognizing that real power lies in the hands of God also puts my humanity into perspective. That is an area of life you may chose to explore.

Wishing you a happy, healthy and fulfilling 2015. Tim

Emotions and the News – 15 year old girl beaten to death

Emotions and the News – 15 year old Girl Beaten to Death by Parents

Apparently, this young girl was beaten to death by both parents using a BBQ utensil and another blunt object. She weighed only 115 pounds and was being punished for a disagreement they had.

Please note that the following ideas are not the result of investigative reporting and are only used to provide insight in a general way, to illustrate how emotions affect our lives. The objective is to gain understanding and in doing so, avoid negative outcomes.

Many emotions can come into play in any given situation. In this case we will look at anger and power.

Anger is an emotion that exists for a reason. We need to respect it. Understanding the causes of our anger allow us to work through those issues and become less likely to act out of this. Acting out of anger generally has negative relational outcomes. The causes of our adult anger could be: 1. not being able to appropriately discharge our anger when we were children; 2. a way of covering irrational guilt, which we take on when we try to take control of events over which we have no control. An example would be a failed parental relationship – important in light of the high rate of divorce today.

Anger has a number of effects on us. We may be aggressive with our children while mostly passive with others. Or we may store anger in our body as muscle tension. This can lead to fatigue and feelings of depression.

In order to avoid the negative expression of anger, it is important to understand that the positive expression is good. One helpful method of understanding if we are angry is to write “I resent…” at the top of a page or document and write as many endings as possible.

Power issues have many causes. A few include: 1. not having experienced appropriate power, control and responsibility as children, 2. physical, emotional and sexual abuse cause powerlessness, 3. use of punishment to control. And there are many others.

When we have power issues, we may use situational power to control others. In the case being considered, the parents appear to have overstepped a boundary in terms of their control over what their daughter did or did not do. And/or they acted out of their own held anger.

We need to understand that we all have choices in terms of our conduct and we need to take responsibility for that. The source of our powerlessness is unmet need in childhood. We are all capable of first understanding this, then feeling through our anger to its source. This helps dissipate the feeling and reduces the chance of acting out of this.

The approach being suggested here is not anger management or promoting we control anger. Rather the idea is linking present anger (emotion) with past events and feeling what we should have felt at that time. That time being when we were children and could not process our emotions.

Please consider reading one of my e-books which give more helpful insights. Reading with a purpose!

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