Emotions and the News – Letter to Newcastle Woman

Feelings of worthlessness may be at the root of the disturbing letter received by the grandmother of an autistic boy. This article is not the result of in depth investigation but seeks to communicate principles which apply in many peoples lives.
What would have caused this display of feelings of worthlessness ie writing a letter saying someone else’s life was not worth living? The following are 12 causes of feelings of worthlessness. 1. humiliating circumstances; 2. children cannot afford to see their parents as inadequate or uncaring, instead they see themselves as inadequate and feel worthless; 3. not being heard when we express our needs as children; 4. feelings of worthlessness are perpetuated in adulthood because we have internalized negative messages from parents and others; 5. not being heard makes a child feel unworthy; 6. oppressed by negative judgments; 7. threats of punishment, physical or emotional; 8. our sense of self worth is undermined by parental rigidity; 9. feeling worthless is used to protect ourselves from overwhelming feelings of vulnerability; 10. feeling that things are their fault, which makes them feel worthless, gives children a sense of control where they actually have no control; 11. not being wanted which is exhibited by parents who complain about having too many children; and 12 inherited from or modeled by parents. If one or more of these applied to the letter writer, they may suffer from feelings of worthlessness.
We do not know about the past of the letter writer, but suffice to say that one or several of these causes may have been present in their life.
The good news is that anyone who suffers from this, can get through it. This choice of words is very deliberate as there is no way “around”, we must go through. This happens when 1. we recognize that current driven behaviours are an attempt to fix past damage in the present; 2. recognize it can lead to depression; 3. with children, they can be helped enormously by consistent, genuine, one-on-one time with their parents.
Two ways to move beyond include: 1. we need to connect with our underlying feelings of worthlessness, feel them and integrate them; 2. feeling the truth about what happened to us frees us to feel our self worth
The positive results of doing this work include a solid sense of self worth that does not need to be worked at, it simply, quietly exists
It is important to note that advertising fuels the notion that we are inadequate as we are. Recognizing this helps us be less subject to the driven behaviour of over spending.
To get more information on this subject, I have two novels available from my website. Also, Janice Berger’s book Emotional Fitness is very helpful.
I hope these resources help you move toward healing and a healthy life and lifestyle.
Following is a link to a news article on the letter – http://www.canada.com/Ontario+woman+receives+hateful+letter+about+autistic/8807558/story.html

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